![]() People often do not have an objective sense of what judgment is, said therapist Jeanette Raymond. Feeling judged is rarely an enjoyable experience. Maybe the person talked about their opinion in way that made yours seem silly by comparison. Sometimes a simple difference in opinion can make people feel judged. With an attitude like that, it’s easy to drop “should” a dozen times before offering any empathy. Most people think they know the right way to do things, Krawiec said, but they don’t consider factors unique to the individual. Therapist Carrie Krawiec suggests people watch out for an excess of “should” language as well. It’s better to begin with acknowledging the person’s struggles and conclude with concise advice that doesn’t involve “I would have done it this way.” People often believe talking about what you are doing wrong and how they would handle the situation differently is helpful. Receiving far more advice than empathy makes people feel judged, said therapist Bradley Foster. Judging someone else creates the same feelings in others. Looking out for these common situations will protect you. ![]() They might not intend it, but the feeling of judgment is still hurtful. When people make you question your character, intelligence, beliefs, decisions or preferences in a way that causes shame, they can make you feel judged in a negative way. Things That Make People Feel Like They Are Being Judged Negatively Judging only becomes a problem when we make unnecessary, hurtful or unfair judgments based on little evidence. If you saw someone give food to a homeless person, you would instinctively make a positive judgment about his or her character. You most likely won’t be able to detect many signs during these seven seconds. This is a subconscious process people cannot control. “Within the first seven seconds of meeting someone, our brain makes 11 different decisions about them including their intelligence, socioeconomic status, education, competence and trustworthiness,” said corporate image consultant and personal brand strategist Anna Hinson. Whether you’re judging others, or feeling judged, at its core, a judgment is an opinion or decision based on thoughts, feelings and evidence. When you cross the street, you look both ways and decide whether to continue walking. Defining Judgment: The Good, The Bad and The Meaningless Whether it’s therapy or an actual courtroom, the key is understanding which one you are dealing with and learning how to respond. There are positive, neutral and negative forms of it. Judgment, however, is not necessarily something to worry about. Even when we know discovering the truth might hurt, curiosity wins. You don’t want to be judged, yet you want to be able to tell if someone is judging you. ![]() The words “judge” and “judgment” have negative connotations and tend to place people in a no-win situation.
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